BOO!!!!!!!!!

Life Is Just One Cookie After Another

My Fortune Cookie told me that "Tomorrow would be a great day to put Slinkies on an escalator."

Moving...and other horrors...

Scooter: Why have you done this??

Me: Done what??

Scooter: You know...the big move...leaving hearth and home...

Me: Moving has your feathers ruffled??

Scooter: I don't have feathers.

Me: It's a figure of speech.

Scooter: Is that comment about my weight?? Look, I run and run...it's my metabolism I tell ya...

Me: You're changing the subject. Why don't you want to talk about the move??

Scooter: I'm traumatized.

Me: It hasn't hurt your sleeping habits.

Scooter: Stress will do that to a body.

Me: Scooter we moved because we needed more room.

Scooter: All we really needed was room for the litter box and a bit of space so that I could chase Cricket.

Me:

Scooter: Whaaa?? What did I say??

Me: I thought you two had resolved all of your differences.

Scooter: We have. We've decided that it's better if we suffer together. Misery likes company.

Me: You would be Misery, I presume??

Scooter: Uh, yeah, I guess so.

Me: So you don't like the house??

Scooter: I'm not saying that.

Me: So then Cricket doesn't like the house??

Scooter: I'm not saying that either.

Me: What are you saying??

Scooter: Uh...just that I don't want you to think that I'm getting nice in my old age.

Me: I could never think that.

Scooter: I think I'll go blap now...there are so many new rooms to try out.

Me: You're a nasty cat...just make sure that these habits don't rub off on Cricket.

Scooter: She just blapped in the hallway. Heh heh heh.

Little Miss Blap Herself

Cats are such interesting little people। They can be your best friend (on their terms, of course) and your worst enemy. Sometimes all of this happens within the course of 15 minutes.

Scooter likes nothing more in this life but to suffer. He excels at suffering. When we're eating...he rolls on his side to look like he's in his death throws...and presumably a small (or not so small) morsel will give him strength and reason to live.

He knows how to "work the crowd too. Erik gets the "I'm dying now...please drop it as soon as you can...and do you want to see me beg" routine.

I usually get "the look". I swear this cat knows that I can't handle that look he gives me.

Now before I get hoards of mail telling me how dangerous it is to give a cat table food...let me assure you we're not feeding him chili or any other combustible. (Heaven spare us from such a day!!)

Cricket on the other hand has no interest in begging for food. She's quite content with her Feline Greenies. It's not that Scooter isn't content with them...the fact is...he's content with everything food-wise.

Dinnertime...the cats' dinnertime usually goes something like this। Two bowls are filled...one for Scooter...one for Cricket.

The bowls are given out...and the grazing commences. Scooter will eat out of his bowl until Cricket is done...at which time, he finishes off her food and then comes back to his own. (Again...no letters...we've tried everything and this seems to work for both of them.)

So, there you have it। We've moved. Somehow the cats found out about it and followed us here. They're already as happy as toads (how do we know that toads are happy??) and all is right with the world...our little corner of it anyhow.

Shelley

Happy Birthday to Irish Coffee...Girl of My Dreams

(Pictured above is Queen Coffee-all decked for St. Paddy's Day)

Happy Birthday to YOU
Happy Birthday to YOU
Happy Birthday Deeeeear Coooofffffeeee...
love of my life...sweet sugar on the spoon of my existence...
my little pitted prune...my cuppy cuppy cake...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Due to powers beyond his control, Scooter was unable to post this birthday greeting for Coffee until one day after the fact. He throws himself on her mercy.

Pippen!!

Me: Scooter doesn't normally share his blog. Uh, Scooter doesn't normally share. I digress. This, however is a special occasion. Today he welcomes Pippen to Catster!! She is his cousin, on his Daddy's side.
Scooter: What do you mean I don't share??
Me: Just say hello to Pippen.
Scooter: Is there any turkey left??
Me: So...without further delay...
Helloooooo Pippen!! Welcome to Catster.

Dashing Through The House...

In a one cat open sleigh!!

Scooter: I'll never forgive you for this.

Me: It's the last one Scooter (for this year) I promise.

Scooter: This is inhumane. My ears are being crushed.

Me: Oh Scooty you look adorable.

Scooter: These things have lights. I don't do lights.

Me: But...look at you!!

Scooter: Do I have to??

Me: You are going to be an inspiration to other cats!!

Scooter: To do what??

Me: Guess!!

Scooter: To throw themselves from buildings??

Me: To celebrate the season!!

Scooter: Gag me.

Me: Oh Scooty...it's Christmas.

Scooter: Right!! ...and you should be cutting me some slack.

Me: Would it help if I dressed Cricket up too??

Scooter: Couldn't we just send her to the Witness Protection Program and call it even??

Me: Merry Christmas Big Fella.

Scooter: You too Ma.

Santa Baby

Scooter: I can't believe you put this Santa hat on me.

Me: Heh heh. Believe it.
Scooter: There's no sense to this. I don't feel anymore festive.
Me: You look festive.
Scooter: I feel like a lawn ornament in the bad part of town.
Me: My poor kitty.
Scooter: Do I get my turkey yet??
Me: Excuse me??
Scooter: I think this photo entitles me to partake of the bird!!
Me: Check the calendar Santa Baby...it's still a week till Christmas.
Scooter: Does this mean what I think it means??
Me: Say Cheeeeeeeeeese!!

Merry is my middle name...

Scooter: Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrraaaaaaaaaaghhhhhh!!

Me: Sit still!!

Scooter: My ears, my ears!!

Me: Sit still.

Scooter: This is cruel.

Me: It's once a year and if you'd just sit still it would be over.

Scooter: This isn't fair.

Me: What isn't fair is the fact that you lounge on the sofa like a beached walrus.

Scooter: Was that necessary??

Me: Yes.

Scooter: Make this snowman go away.

Me: Why can't you be festive like other cats I've seen??

Scooter: Me?? I love Christmas...the turkey, the lights (they're tasty too), the turkey, the tree (the needles are like tiny little toothpicks), the turkey...

Me: Yeah, ok, ok, I got the idea.

Scooter: It seems to me that you're making too much of this photo op.

Me: Well, hold on tinsel boy, I haven't gotten out the Santa hat or the reindeer antlers yet.

Scooter: Can't we just go straight to the turkey??

Me: A few more shots and we'll talk.

Scooter: Well, don't you just know that MERRY is my middle name!!

And THIS is why I'm not a DOG...

She Thinks I'm Hot!!

Me: Scooter, what are you doing??

Scooter: Brushing my fur, flossing, checking my breath for just the right scent of tuna.

Me: Uh, why??

Scooter: I think I have a girlfriend.

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: Sorry, what??

Scooter: You know, a girlfriend, a female cat, someone to cough up hairballs with.

Me: Ok...you lost me...what are you talking about??

Scooter: Oh, she is beeeeeautiful. Her name is Coffee (swoon) and she's the same age as me and she looks like me and I think I'm in love and I have it on good authority that she thinks I'm hot.

Me: Hot as in a gland condition??

Scooter: Hot as in she liiiiiiiiiiiikes me.

Me: My little boy is growing up.

Scooter: I'm 9 now, that's 52 of your years.

Me: The next thing you'll be telling me is that you're driving too.

Scooter:

Scooter:

Scooter:

Me: Scooter??

Scooter: I was daydreaming on Route 66.

Me: What "good authority"??

Scooter: I'm not at liberty to say.

Me: I'm your mother.

Scooter: I'm older than you.

Me: I clean your litter box. (This is the mother's equivalent to "I wash your underwear.")

Scooter: Good point. I'm still not saying.

Me: Well, you'll keep me updated on this relationship??

Scooter: If I don't will you still clean my litter box?

Me: Not a hope big fella.

Scooter: I should go lie down now??

Me: Probably a good idea.

Ok...so call me crazy.

Did my cat just say he was HOT and that he had that on "good authority"?? I am crazy. My cat has a life. It's not bad enough that he has this blog, but now he has a girlfriend and a life too?? C'mon. This is getting to be too much.

Maybe it's because it's almost Christmas and my mind is just in a pre-holiday turmoil??

-pause-

Nah...I'm crazy and my 52 year old cat (isn't he too old to be getting a girlfriend??) is making it worse.

On the upside...Coffee looks to be a lovely girl. I mean, who could resist that sweet tabby face??

Obviously, not my Scooter.

Click to see Coffee