Me: I've got to say buddy...you've been around a long time.
Scooter: What's this?? A farewell speach??
Me: No, of course not. Why would you think that??
Scooter: Well, you did bring the female home.
Me: Scooter...that was over a year and a half ago. If we were planning your demise, wouldn't we have offed you by now??
Scooter: I'm too wily for you. I keep my guard up.
Me: You sleep 18 hours a day.
Scooter: I'm really gifted. You don't even KNOW I'm watching you. You just THINK I'm asleep.
Me: Ah. I see.
Scooter: That's not funny.
Me: What??
Scooter: Sarcasm hurts.
Me: Like I started to say...you've been around a long time and I think it's time...
Scooter: Goodbye chicken and tuna. Please tell Nanny that I loved my blankie. She won't let you get away with this you know.
Me: Stop. You're being dramatic. I'm saying it's time for a new photo of you. That's all.
Scooter: I'm a handsome devil.
Me: You're half right.
Scooter: I have a nice smile.
Me: That's a smirk. Besides, in the next photo, you bit me.
Scooter: Noooo.
Me: You did, and you do. I have the puncture marks and scars to prove it.
Scooter: You're awfully cynical. Have you always been like this??
Me: When did this become about me??
Scooter: You should learn to relax.
Me: 18 hours a day??
Scooter: I'm sensing sarcasm again.
