Thursday, December 21, 2006

Dashing Through The House...

In a one cat open sleigh!!
Scooter: I'll never forgive you for this.
Me: It's the last one Scooter (for this year) I promise.
Scooter: This is inhumane. My ears are being crushed.
Me: Oh Scooty you look adorable.
Scooter: These things have lights. I don't do lights.
Me: But...look at you!!
Scooter: Do I have to??
Me: You are going to be an inspiration to other cats!!
Scooter: To do what??
Me: Guess!!
Scooter: To throw themselves from buildings??
Me: To celebrate the season!!
Scooter: Gag me.
Me: Oh's Christmas.
Scooter: Right!! ...and you should be cutting me some slack.
Me: Would it help if I dressed Cricket up too??
Scooter: Couldn't we just send her to the Witness Protection Program and call it even??
Me: Merry Christmas Big Fella.
Scooter: You too Ma.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Santa Baby

Scooter: I can't believe you put this Santa hat on me.
Me: Heh heh. Believe it.
Scooter: There's no sense to this. I don't feel anymore festive.
Me: You look festive.
Scooter: I feel like a lawn ornament in the bad part of town.
Me: My poor kitty.
Scooter: Do I get my turkey yet??
Me: Excuse me??
Scooter: I think this photo entitles me to partake of the bird!!
Me: Check the calendar Santa's still a week till Christmas.
Scooter: Does this mean what I think it means??
Me: Say Cheeeeeeeeeese!!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Merry is my middle name...

Scooter: Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrraaaaaaaaaaghhhhhh!!
Me: Sit still!!
Scooter: My ears, my ears!!
Me: Sit still.
Scooter: This is cruel.
Me: It's once a year and if you'd just sit still it would be over.
Scooter: This isn't fair.
Me: What isn't fair is the fact that you lounge on the sofa like a beached walrus.
Scooter: Was that necessary??
Me: Yes.
Scooter: Make this snowman go away.
Me: Why can't you be festive like other cats I've seen??
Scooter: Me?? I love Christmas...the turkey, the lights (they're tasty too), the turkey, the tree (the needles are like tiny little toothpicks), the turkey...
Me: Yeah, ok, ok, I got the idea.
Scooter: It seems to me that you're making too much of this photo op.
Me: Well, hold on tinsel boy, I haven't gotten out the Santa hat or the reindeer antlers yet.
Scooter: Can't we just go straight to the turkey??
Me: A few more shots and we'll talk.
Scooter: Well, don't you just know that MERRY is my middle name!!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

She Thinks I'm Hot!!

Me: Scooter, what are you doing??
Scooter: Brushing my fur, flossing, checking my breath for just the right scent of tuna.
Me: Uh, why??
Scooter: I think I have a girlfriend.
Me: Sorry, what??
Scooter: You know, a girlfriend, a female cat, someone to cough up hairballs with.
Me: lost me...what are you talking about??
Scooter: Oh, she is beeeeeautiful. Her name is Coffee (swoon) and she's the same age as me and she looks like me and I think I'm in love and I have it on good authority that she thinks I'm hot.
Me: Hot as in a gland condition??
Scooter: Hot as in she liiiiiiiiiiiikes me.
Me: My little boy is growing up.
Scooter: I'm 9 now, that's 52 of your years.
Me: The next thing you'll be telling me is that you're driving too.
Me: Scooter??
Scooter: I was daydreaming on Route 66.
Me: What "good authority"??
Scooter: I'm not at liberty to say.
Me: I'm your mother.
Scooter: I'm older than you.
Me: I clean your litter box. (This is the mother's equivalent to "I wash your underwear.")
Scooter: Good point. I'm still not saying.
Me: Well, you'll keep me updated on this relationship??
Scooter: If I don't will you still clean my litter box?
Me: Not a hope big fella.
Scooter: I should go lie down now??
Me: Probably a good idea. call me crazy.
Did my cat just say he was HOT and that he had that on "good authority"?? I am crazy. My cat has a life. It's not bad enough that he has this blog, but now he has a girlfriend and a life too?? C'mon. This is getting to be too much.
Maybe it's because it's almost Christmas and my mind is just in a pre-holiday turmoil??
Nah...I'm crazy and my 52 year old cat (isn't he too old to be getting a girlfriend??) is making it worse.
On the upside...Coffee looks to be a lovely girl. I mean, who could resist that sweet tabby face??
Obviously, not my Scooter.
Click to see Coffee