Me: Sit still!!
Scooter: My ears, my ears!!
Me: Sit still.
Scooter: This is cruel.
Me: It's once a year and if you'd just sit still it would be over.
Scooter: This isn't fair.
Me: What isn't fair is the fact that you lounge on the sofa like a beached walrus.
Scooter: Was that necessary??
Scooter: Make this snowman go away.
Me: Why can't you be festive like other cats I've seen??
Scooter: Me?? I love Christmas...the turkey, the lights (they're tasty too), the turkey, the tree (the needles are like tiny little toothpicks), the turkey...
Me: Yeah, ok, ok, I got the idea.
Scooter: It seems to me that you're making too much of this photo op.
Me: Well, hold on tinsel boy, I haven't gotten out the Santa hat or the reindeer antlers yet.
Scooter: Can't we just go straight to the turkey??
Me: A few more shots and we'll talk.
Scooter: Well, don't you just know that MERRY is my middle name!!