Shelley: 1. Why did anyone make Ranch Dressing after Hidden Valley??
Scooter: Who needs salad anyhow??
Shelley: You seem to like my violets after you blap!!
Scooter: 2. Why don't they make a cat food can that cats can open??
Shelley: Get real here buddy. You're too lazy to open your own food and besides...you LIKE having a minion.
Scooter: Good point.
Shelley: 3. Why when you drop a roll of tape on its side does it land so that the roll is now covered with fuzz and cat hair leaving a fuzzy line down whatever I tape!!
Scooter: I can't help but feel this is a personal blow.
Shelley: Because I said cat hair?? Well, if the claw fits...
Scooter: 4. Why can't I go outside??
Shelley: This is not a valid question.
Scooter: I'm suffocating...gag...choke...whine.
Shelley: 5. You're not suffocating...and this is taking up another question.
Scooter: You go outside. I get 5 minute supervised field trips with Daddy.
Shelley: After which you realize you're outside and come running for the safety of "IN". Next question.
Scooter: 6. Why aren't there more shows on tv with cats as the heroes??
Shelley: Possibly because cats sleep 22 out of 24 hours and none of the cats could stay awake for the filming.
Scooter: I need a nap.
Shelley: 7. Why can't they make an ice cream container that doesn't collapse when you try to scoop ice cream out??
Scooter: I really only like chocolate.
Shelley: I've yet to figure that out too.
Scooter: 8. Why don't I have a dog to swat??
Shelley: Well, for one we can't have a dog here.
Scooter: Because they're inferior lifeforms, like humans. I understand.
Shelley: 9. There you go again...now we've got to carry this on to another question. Dogs are NOT inferior...and neither are humans.
Scooter: Uh, hello you (human) clean my litter box and dogs well, are known to eat from the lit....
Scooter: 10. Why don't I have my own queen size bed??
Shelley: I give up.
Scooter: What?? What did I say??
Shelley: 11. Why why why do grocery stores insist on opening just 2 or 3 registers when there are lines of people waiting to get out??
Scooter: That reminds me...we're out of "Ground Mealtime" so next time you're out...
Shelley: You're all heart there Gandhi.
Scooter: 12. Why don't they make a remote for cats without thumbs??
Shelley: Uh, what would you watch??
Scooter: Lassie of course. A big smart dog (snicker snicker) saves the world. I love comedies!!
Shelley: 13. Why do I have this cat?? Tell me again??
Scooter: It's my sweet demeanor, quick wit and stunning good looks.
Shelley: It's not your humility.
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4) Mama B
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