Dashing Through The House...

In a one cat open sleigh!!

Scooter: I'll never forgive you for this.

Me: It's the last one Scooter (for this year) I promise.

Scooter: This is inhumane. My ears are being crushed.

Me: Oh Scooty you look adorable.

Scooter: These things have lights. I don't do lights.

Me: But...look at you!!

Scooter: Do I have to??

Me: You are going to be an inspiration to other cats!!

Scooter: To do what??

Me: Guess!!

Scooter: To throw themselves from buildings??

Me: To celebrate the season!!

Scooter: Gag me.

Me: Oh Scooty...it's Christmas.

Scooter: Right!! ...and you should be cutting me some slack.

Me: Would it help if I dressed Cricket up too??

Scooter: Couldn't we just send her to the Witness Protection Program and call it even??

Me: Merry Christmas Big Fella.

Scooter: You too Ma.

Santa Baby

Scooter: I can't believe you put this Santa hat on me.

Me: Heh heh. Believe it.
Scooter: There's no sense to this. I don't feel anymore festive.
Me: You look festive.
Scooter: I feel like a lawn ornament in the bad part of town.
Me: My poor kitty.
Scooter: Do I get my turkey yet??
Me: Excuse me??
Scooter: I think this photo entitles me to partake of the bird!!
Me: Check the calendar Santa Baby...it's still a week till Christmas.
Scooter: Does this mean what I think it means??
Me: Say Cheeeeeeeeeese!!

Merry is my middle name...

Scooter: Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrraaaaaaaaaaghhhhhh!!

Me: Sit still!!

Scooter: My ears, my ears!!

Me: Sit still.

Scooter: This is cruel.

Me: It's once a year and if you'd just sit still it would be over.

Scooter: This isn't fair.

Me: What isn't fair is the fact that you lounge on the sofa like a beached walrus.

Scooter: Was that necessary??

Me: Yes.

Scooter: Make this snowman go away.

Me: Why can't you be festive like other cats I've seen??

Scooter: Me?? I love Christmas...the turkey, the lights (they're tasty too), the turkey, the tree (the needles are like tiny little toothpicks), the turkey...

Me: Yeah, ok, ok, I got the idea.

Scooter: It seems to me that you're making too much of this photo op.

Me: Well, hold on tinsel boy, I haven't gotten out the Santa hat or the reindeer antlers yet.

Scooter: Can't we just go straight to the turkey??

Me: A few more shots and we'll talk.

Scooter: Well, don't you just know that MERRY is my middle name!!

And THIS is why I'm not a DOG...

She Thinks I'm Hot!!

Me: Scooter, what are you doing??

Scooter: Brushing my fur, flossing, checking my breath for just the right scent of tuna.

Me: Uh, why??

Scooter: I think I have a girlfriend.

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: Sorry, what??

Scooter: You know, a girlfriend, a female cat, someone to cough up hairballs with.

Me: Ok...you lost me...what are you talking about??

Scooter: Oh, she is beeeeeautiful. Her name is Coffee (swoon) and she's the same age as me and she looks like me and I think I'm in love and I have it on good authority that she thinks I'm hot.

Me: Hot as in a gland condition??

Scooter: Hot as in she liiiiiiiiiiiikes me.

Me: My little boy is growing up.

Scooter: I'm 9 now, that's 52 of your years.

Me: The next thing you'll be telling me is that you're driving too.

Scooter:

Scooter:

Scooter:

Me: Scooter??

Scooter: I was daydreaming on Route 66.

Me: What "good authority"??

Scooter: I'm not at liberty to say.

Me: I'm your mother.

Scooter: I'm older than you.

Me: I clean your litter box. (This is the mother's equivalent to "I wash your underwear.")

Scooter: Good point. I'm still not saying.

Me: Well, you'll keep me updated on this relationship??

Scooter: If I don't will you still clean my litter box?

Me: Not a hope big fella.

Scooter: I should go lie down now??

Me: Probably a good idea.

Ok...so call me crazy.

Did my cat just say he was HOT and that he had that on "good authority"?? I am crazy. My cat has a life. It's not bad enough that he has this blog, but now he has a girlfriend and a life too?? C'mon. This is getting to be too much.

Maybe it's because it's almost Christmas and my mind is just in a pre-holiday turmoil??

-pause-

Nah...I'm crazy and my 52 year old cat (isn't he too old to be getting a girlfriend??) is making it worse.

On the upside...Coffee looks to be a lovely girl. I mean, who could resist that sweet tabby face??

Obviously, not my Scooter.

Click to see Coffee